The ability to make friends easily comes naturally to some people, however, if you are not one of those people you may be left overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness.
Loneliness is one of the most uncomfortable emotions we as humans can experience.
One may be so bold to argue that the feelings of loneliness may parallel depression and removing loneliness from your life can dramatically improve your well being.
When you are surrounded by quality friends you are exposed to more fun times and adventures and you receive more support through all walks of life. Best of all, you feel as though you fit in which, in turn, will boost your self worth and confidence.
How To Make Friends Easily
In order to make friends easily you need to acquire peoples respect.
If you are not someone who people look at with respect, you are going to have a much more difficult time making friends. It is a simple yet unavoidable fact that none of us can escape.
Imagine yourself as though you are a consumer product.
If you are an excellent product with very few flaws then people will talk about how great you are and naturally more people will gravitate towards you.
When people see value in your character and respect you, your ability to make friends easily will skyrocket.
However, if you are a poorly made product with lots of flaws, people will still talk about you.
In this case, people will only have negative things to say and, through the airwaves, your reputation will be harmed causing people to gravitate away from you.
This is where the art of self improvement comes in.
Are you honestly the kind of person you would like to have as a friend? If not, maybe it is time you became more like the people you wish to attract into your life.
Let’s go over a few traits that everyone looks for in a friend whether they realize it or not…
Are You Kind?
Do you speak highly of those around you or do you often talk negatively about people in order to feel better about yourself?
While a few people may enjoy doing the same with you, most people will shy away from unkind people very quickly.
A kind person knows that if they have nothing nice to say they shouldn’t say anything at all.
Physics states that every action has a reaction and every time you talk poorly about someone else you are unknowingly lowering your own respectability.
Friends should be positive and always reinforce one another as well as those around them.
Treat everyone with respect and you will begin to receive the same in return.
Are You Genuine?
When you give someone a compliment do you mean it or do you say nice things for brownie points?
When someone asks you for a favor, do you do it willingly or simply because you don’t know how to get out of it?
A good friend should always be willing to put their time and ego aside to make sure their friends are comfortable. Sooner or later you will be the one looking for a compliment or some help.
If you were never that person for someone else don’t expect anyone to be that person for you.
Are You Trustworthy?
Could a friend entrust you with a secret that meant a lot to them? If not, then why would they be willing to count on you for something greater than a simple secret?
If you aren’t to be counted on, you likely won’t serve much value being kept around.
Whether it is an intimate relationship or a fun relationship, trust is key.
In order to gain the ability to make friends easily, you need to exude the persona that you are a trustworthy person right off the get-go.
Perhaps you are asking how you do this. The answer is to simply be kind and genuine which you already knew.
Absolutely everyone is attracted to a beaming smile.
Your face is often the first thing people will notice about you.
If you constantly look grumpy and miserable people will most likely assume you are someone who wouldn’t be pleasurable to hangout with.
Conversely, if you have the biggest smile in the room, you will give off a vibe which is simply magnetic.
People will begin to be intrigued and will see you as someone worth talking to. If you further make people feel as though you are trustworthy, kind, and genuine, your ability to make friends easily will begin to work on autopilot.
How To Find Friends Easily
In order to make friends easily you quite obviously have to be able to find potential friends.
Admittedly, for anyone that does not work a social job, this can be very hard.
I spent the majority of my life in the same town with the same good friends. When I was 20 years old I moved to a new city and had to build relationships from scratch.
Since I had maintained the same friends all throughout my youth, I never had the need or acquired the knowledge on how to make new friends quickly.
Additionally, in my new city, I worked a very anti-social job which did not provide any easy connections within the city.
For the next two years I barely made any friends and was haunted by feelings of loneliness.
Overtime I began to crawl outside of my comfort zone and, as soon as I did, I began to make friends in spades.
Here are some of the most fail proof methods to make friends easily:
Say Hi First
Think of all of the people you meet on a day to day basis without so much as a word to each other.
The people you see time and time again at the gym, the coffee shop, or anywhere else for that matter.
Do you honestly believe that just because they have never introduced themselves that they would never consider being your friend?
In all likelihood they are just shy. Not many people are willing to openly introduce themselves and if you do so first you will immediately leave a good first impression.
Say hi first and you will look confident. The amount of possible doors to be opened are endless, all you need to do is turn the handle and see what is on the other side.
If you struggle with social anxiety this may initially be difficult. You must remember that all good things happen just outside of your comfort zone.
If this is too difficult for you right now, try some phenibut and watch your social anxiety decrease dramatically.
Get Out Of The House
This is where most people likely get stuck trying to make friends.
Since you may not have a lot of friends to go out with, you don’t know what to do outside of the house.
It is easier and perhaps even temporarily more fun to just sit inside and watch TV. Unfortunately this path does not lead to any change.
Any new people you meet at your house while you are watching TV are probably intruders and not those of friend material.
If you have no one to go out with, start by going to the gym and improving your body.
There are tons of people at the gym who likely have plenty in common with you such as an interest in fitness.
Perhaps take a cooking class, go for a hike, or even just go to a cafe.
Get used to being around other people and if you are someone who is willing to say hi first and you exude a respectable persona, you will make friends in no time.
By taking the time to improve your physique you will improve your confidence dramatically. I have seen this happen in my own life on an enormous scale.
Going from 110 lbs to a lean and muscular 150 lbs over the course of 18-24 months in my teenage years absolutely changed my life.
People who never acknowledged me before began asking what I was doing and even asking to workout with me.
A good body demands respect and stands out from the crowd. Like a smile it is magnetic and will reel people in.
With improved confidence you may be more inclined to make that first introduction to someone who may be a great friend (or partner) in the future.
For anyone struggling with social anxiety, this can be of enormous benefit!
You do not need to be the most ripped person in any room. Simply gaining 10 lbs of muscle or losing 5% body fat can be that catalyst you need to boost your confidence and have people raising eyebrows.
Exercising will also immerse you in environments where there are lots of people around.
Lots of people = Lots of potential friends.
(P.S. For some killer workout advice check out my friends blog ChallengerTraining)
While you likely wont meet many people from your hometown while travelling, you will develop the skills to make friends easily almost overnight.
Everyone travelling seems to be a little more easy going and additionally there are countless icebreakers to get you comfortable immediately.
Topics such as your hometowns or past and future travel plans are enough to provide a riveting conversation with any new person you meet.
Acquiring these conversational skills while travelling is an enormous benefit to bring home with you.
All of a sudden you understand how to approach people a little easier and how to start a conversation.
Those random people you see at your local coffee shop every week probably won’t bite your head off if you go and introduce yourself. In all likelihood they are probably curious to get to know you after seeing you around all the time!
Join A Club Or Team
What is it that you enjoy doing as a hobby?
Is there a sport or activity you could participate in weekly?
By joining a club or a team you will be immersed in a community that shares at least one of the same interests as you.
As you are likely aware, the key to a great friendship is similar interests. After all, if the two of you have nothing in common what are you supposed to do together for fun?
When you commit to a team you must show up regularly. This means you will become familiar and comfortable with the people around you and you should be able to make friends easily.
Get A More Social Job
Admittedly this is easier said than done for many people.
However, if you are young or not tied down at your current job, this may be the best option for finding friends fast.
When I was a welder I worked alone almost everyday of the week and even though the money was good my social life was terrible.
Due to injuries I was forced out of the industry and temporarily went back to a serving position at a restaurant.
The amount of friends I made over the next few months was dramatic and, although I was making less money, I was infinitely happier.
Some good social jobs for making friends include:
- Working In A Kitchen
- Tour Guide
- Teaching A Hobby
- Coffee Shop
With a social job you are both exposed to potential friends and additionally you are constantly improving your social skills. Improving your social skills will dramatically improve your ability to make friends easily over the course of a year or two.
Focus On Making One Good Friend To Start
If all of this seems overwhelming to you right now, focus on finding one good friend for the time being.
One good friend can still provide an escape from loneliness.
Many times that one good friend will further introduce you to their friends and you can ease in at a rate which is more comfortable for you.
Finding one good friend may still require you to say hi first and get out of the house. Additionally the fundamentals of a good friend we discussed are also still necessary-not optional.
Whether you are the manliest of men or the most independent of women it does not matter, everyone needs friends.
Finding good quality friends is going to take work and personal growth. You may very well have to leave your comfort zone more frequently than you’d like.
When your social life does begin to improve, the effort you put in will be worth it tenfold.
As your loneliness disappears your well being will improve and you will never look back.
So…what are you waiting for?
Wishing you great success,